Film Review: Alice In Wonderland!
Alice In Wonderland
Another kooky Tim Burton take on a classic story (see Sweeney Todd, Charlie And The Chocolate Factory etc) that, just for a change, stars Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. And it’s getting a bit boring. This is actually a sequel to the Victorian novel as Alice is now 19, but if you don’t remember the story, it’s irrelevant as she meets the same people in the same places. Disappointingly dull.
What’s one simple way to improve a thriller? Easy: make it an erotic thriller. Julianne Moore suspects her husband (Liam Neeson) is cheating on her, so hires escort Amanda Seyfried to seduce him and report back. Which inevitably – no wait, we mean ridiculously – leads to reawakened sexual desires and a lesbian romp. But it’s suspenseful and creepy with a decent twist. And boobs.
(DVD) Danielle Lloyd’s acting debut. And, to be honest, she’s a bit crap. And she’s only in it for about three minutes (she’s got the Drew-Barrymore-in-Scream-early-murder-victim role). And she’s the only one of the three girls not to get her boobs out. After she’s dead, Zach Galligan (the guy from Gremlins) and a group of friends are terrorised by a murderous clown in a country house.
(DVD, Blu-ray) Back-to-basics Saw with plenty of gruesome deaths and intricate traps – like a giant scale that can only be tipped in your favour if you hack off a limb.
Road Warriors In Afghanistan
(DVD) Incredible story of our boys on the Afghan frontline as they face the Taliban. Plus, £1 from every sale goes to Help For Heroes.
Mario Kart 8 first play!
Remember when racers were fun? Mario is back to show us all how it's done...