KP, you missed the last three 2009 Ashes Tests with an Achilles injury. Do you actually feel like an Ashes winner?
I felt a bit weird celebrating, knowing that I hadn’t participated in all of it. But the boys said, “Get down here, you’re still part of the squad.” They made me feel part of it.

The injury went a bit manky afterwards though, right?
Yeah, it got infected, pretty horrifically. The pain was like being stabbed in the ankle and the surgeon could see my tendon showing through the wound. It set me back three months – but I’m nearly back to business now.

What does a cricketer do when he can’t play?
Get a taste of life after cricket! I’ve travelled, done the Italian Grand Prix and bought a house. Best of all, I went on safari with my wife, Jess. The Bush is something I love. You just turn your mobile phone off, watch animals and be at peace. I go every year.

Sounds like you’ve kept fairly active…
Nah, mostly I’ve chilled at home, coz I haven’t been able to wear shoes! I’ve just sat on the couch and watched TV all day. It’s great – cricketers don’t get to do the sofa much!

So what’s showing at KP towers? Jeremy Kyle, Loose Women…?
No chance! It’s more National Geographic, Discovery Channel and Animal Planet.

Any cricket?
I’m still a fan and I love watching legends like Tendulkar, Ponting and Kallis play. How they do their stuff, though, not who wins.

Do you rule the TV remote at home?
Nah, the missus forces me to watch America’s Next Top Model. I’m glad Big Brother’s finished. I used to fall asleep watching it. But I do like The X Factor. Simon Cowell’s hilarious.

We hear you’re good pals with Britain’s Got Talent judge Piers Morgan?
Yeah. I met him years ago. He’s a great mate and gives me really good advice on life – but mainly he rings up just to talk about cricket. He’s got plenty more famous people on his phone than me, though.

Talking of fame, are you still able to pop out for a pint of milk in peace?
Me and Jess still do the Tesco’s run. If people ask for pictures that’s fine – but I hate the paparazzi. It makes me feel so uncomfortable. I’ll never get used to that.

Have you ever Googled yourself?
Sure, but just out of interest.

Did you like what you found?
Er, well, there’s a lot of critics out there, so I don’t read anything anymore. Everyone’s got an opinion on me, but that comes with the job. You just deal with it.

How does it feel to have followed David Beckham as the new Brylcreem Boy?
It’s great – a real honour. No shaving my hair off like Becks did, though!

What about skunk haircuts?
Ha ha. In the past, I’ve had some naughty, jackass hairstyles – but from now on it’s just a short back and sides.