just though id share these seeing how they made me laugh out loud

What a woman says:

Cmon...This place is a mess!
You and I need to clean.
Your pants are on the floor
and you'll have no clothes
if we don't do laundry now!

What a man hears:

C'MON....blah, blah, blah
YOU AND I blah, blah, blah
blah, blah ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You can't change a man. I thought after the wedding he'd stop
drinking and stop smoking. Instead he stopped working and started dating.

 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which by mistake happened
to end up in a man's head. She looked around nervously but it was all empty
and quiet.

"Hello?" she cried, but no answer.

"Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer.

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled: "HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?"

Then she heard a voice from far, far away: "Hello, we're down here."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
When asked to explain why the relationship was over she told him straight: "Because you are no good in bed"

He was miffed. "But how can you tell after 15 seconds

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx