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Labrinth Talks About Bad Spelling, Threesomes And Simon Cowell's Pants!

Producing, festivals, releasing singles… you’re a busy man!
It’s been insane. I look back on this summer and I don’t remember half of those things happening! I blame it all on Alfred.

Who’s Alfred?
The fat man in my head. He dances around in my brain and pushes all the inspiration out of my brain. That’s the secret of my success!

Er…
Ha ha! You guys are going to have me seeing a shrink! The truth is inspiration is like a beautiful girl, man – you have to charm her! Either that or you watch dumb YouTube clips. You ever heard of the cinnamon test?

No…
It’s where people try to eat as much cinnamon as possible. It’s so dry, that you can’t swallow it. It’s insane, but it takes my mind off things in the studio. That’s what we were watching before we came up with Earthquake!

Are you aware the proper spelling of your name is Labyrinth? Where’s the Y?
You can’t trust a Y – it’s a crooked letter! Ha! I just thought it looked better. Funny thing is, when my record was first played on MTV, they put the Y in my name. They obviously just thought, "Bless him – the poor boy can’t spell." I had to tweet about it. They were like, "He is that stupid!" 

Is there anyone who doesn’t call you Labrinth?
My mum. She chops me down to size. She doesn’t know what records I’ve released, who I’m working with – she just says, "Tim! You’re talking to Eminem? OK, say I said hello – and tell him you have to go because you haven’t washed the dishes!" I love that.

Do you get a lot of love from random women now you’re mega famous?
Quite a bit! When I was younger and I went on the pull with my mates, we’d say, "Hey, how you doing?" and then there would just be total silence. Now I understand why women feel violated! I was on my way into a club in Kavos for a gig, and every girl touched every part of my body. I’m not joking, man. I couldn’t handle it – they turned me into a sissy! I’ve got a missus now, though. I had my fun days, but they’re over now!

Didn’t you once say you’d choose music over sex?
That doesn’t make any sense, does it? The missus was not happy with that one. I got elbow drops that night! In another interview, I was asked for the three things I liked to do. I was single at the time, so I said I like to have threesomes with two women. By the time the interview came out, I was with my missus. She was like, "Oh, really?" 

You’re mates with Prof Green, Tinchy Stryder, Tinie Tempah… who’s best with the ladies?
Tinie is a charmer, man – with ladies and men. He doesn’t even need to say anything. Just that one little smile and they fall straight into his palms. I know Ed Sheeran is a ginger ninja, but he knows how to get in there too. He just plays a few notes and that’s it. I remember doing a gig with him and Devlin, and half the girls outside were his ginger fanbase. Look what the boy has done – he’s brought confidence to the gingers! 

How about the man you’re signed with, Simon Cowell?
Friends of my aunties wanting me to set them up; I have to tell them to chill! But it’s young women, too. It’s the way he handles himself; he talks like he’s the sh*t. I don’t know how he has his pants that high and still sound that cool, but he does it!

Speaking of clothes, you’re a stylish man. Any fashion advice?
You’ve got to know when you’re bullsh*tting yourself. I’ve had a few moments just before I’ve gone on stage where I’ve thought, "Er, let me go change, before this outfit ruins my career." I used to wear 43” waist jeans, even though I’m a 34”. They were like ship sails. When the wind blew, I would slow down!

Finally, are you working with Rihanna? 
I met her a couple of years ago, and she was the nicest girl. I had the dodgiest haircut at that point – it looked like someone had slipped when they were doing it – but she said she liked it. I was like, "You f**king liar!" But she’s changed a bit since then. 

How so?
She’s a bad girl now! But yes, we’ve had talks about working together on something soon. Since my album, I can pretty much work with any anyone I want to now. But I’m not going to have every other artist on a record. I’m not David Guetta! 

Labrinth’s new single is out on 9 September and he will be on tour in the UK in October

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