The John Terry Gags!
Fabio Capello phoned Wayne Bridge and said: “JT’s lost the captain’s armband. Can you do me a favour and have a good look under your bed for it?”
Ashley Cole was caught doing 104mph in a 50mph zone. When questioned by police, he said: “I’ve just heard JT is parked outside my house!”
John Terry, former Dad Of The Year. Kerry Katona, former Mum Of The Year. Bet Ronnie Wood is polishing his Grandad Of The Year award right now…
Q: What have Wayne’s ex-missus and and the 2008 Champions League Final goal post got in common?
A: They’ve both been banged by John Terry.
The England team have voted for Terry to keep his place in the World Cup squad. With the ban on WAGs travelling to South Africa, no one wants him left behind.
Newsflash just in: “Bridge close to collapsing in Manchester. Support needed…”
It’s a good thing JT doesn’t bring all his girlfriends to watch him play every match. Abramovich would have to increase the capacity of Stamford Bridge by 20,000.
So JT has been caught stealing another man’s girl. Bet his mum’s proud he’s learned something from her.
So JT was sleeping with Wayne Bridge’s girl. Poor old Wayne – he wasn’t even first choice with his missus!
Did you know John Terry has scored 28 times at the Bridge? Nah, neither did Wayne…
(To the tune of Lord Of The Dance)
Chelsea, wherever you may be,
Don’t leave your bird with John Terry,
’Cos he likes a sh*g, he likes a bit of fluff,
And he’ll get your missus up the duff!
Apparently, JT has signed up to star in a new TV show. It’s called Other Footballers’ Wives.
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We climb aboard HMS Liverpool to see what life is like at sea during battle!