A couple of weeks ago, we told you about the increasingly popular kempfolds.blogspot.com – a site where people send in pictures of Ross Kemp, folded (yes, that's all).

It's become a cult web hit – and Mr Kemp knows all about it.

'I don't know how it came about,' he tells us. 'Is it supposed to be flattering or not? I can't figure it out.'

We like to think it's flattering, so obviously we couldn’t let him leave without getting him to create his own effort – and we liked what he came up with. But what should we call it? 'Let's say See No Evil. Either that, or Big Helmet…'

Watch Ross Kemp fold his face here

And visit kempfolds.blogspot.com to see more Kemp Folds!

Now read our interview with Ross Kemp...

You’ve just written your first novel. Why is it set in Brazil?
That was the first place I did for the TV show. The stories in the book aren’t all based on my personal experiences, but I definitely learned how the gangs operate on that trip. I paid my hotel bill on my credit card and by the time I got off the plane in the UK, Barclays were ringing me up and asking if I had really spent £35,000 on my card in the last nine hours! The researcher on that trip never worked with me again. He went to the cashpoint and disappeared for the rest of the day – a gang had bundled him into the back of a car and made him go back to the cashpoint five times!

We take it you’ll be back on the telly soon…
Yeah, but the next project is going to be pretty damn dangerous if it comes off. It’s far more political than anything I’ve done before, but I can’t say where it might be for fear of kidnapping. It’s moving into a different area, so I’ll be shot down in flames if I don’t get it absolutely spot on. But that’s what we do in this country: knock people who are successful.

Do you prefer working with gangs or the military?
When you’re working with gangs, it’s like herding cats – everyone’s all over the place. With the Army, if they say they’ll be somewhere at 0900, they’ll be there. In that sense, it’s easier. But you start speaking a different language when you spend time with the military. When I say things like, “We’re just about to go up to the HP to talk about the IEDs,” my cameraman has to keep reminding me to translate things back into English. I had a dreadful habit of saying “Roger that” when I first came home from Afghan. “Do you want a pint, Ross?” “Roger that.”’ Everyone was taking the piss.

So do you feel like a bit of a soldier now?
After my first trip, I came back into Britain and I got really angry. I’d been away for two months, and I remember the colours completely freaked me out – everything had been brown for eight weeks. I was driving through London on my way home, and people were just on their way to work. And suddenly I felt furious. All I could think was that the guys out there were going to get shot at today, and these people didn’t give a fuck. I felt they should – particularly after my sixth pint. My girlfriend actually had to take me home, because I’d got so angry that I wanted to start punching people. The pressure being out there – the knowledge that you could get blown up at any point – fucks with your head. You don’t see people losing legs and bodies being put in bags without it having an effect on you. Jesus… Sorry, that was a bit deep, wasn’t it? Coming out with me, you’re never going to have a laugh. I start telling stories at parties, and I suddenly realise there are women in tears around the table. I’m like, “Well, you did ask…”

Would you ever go back to EastEnders?
I’d like to go back to acting at some point. Living out of a rucksack for months on end isn’t much fun, so never say never. I’d find it hard now though, because your life is so controlled on the show. You have to ask permission to go to the toilet. But I did it for 10 years, so who knows?

If you came back with a third, long-lost Mitchell brother, who would it be?
I know who it should be – Matt Lucas from Little Britain. We’d have the only gay in Walford!

We saw pictures of you in a Chelsea shirt recently...
Yeah, that was when I played in 
a charity five-a-side thing in London. I’m shit at football, by the way. I can’t remember his name, but I had a couple of run-ins with one of the former pros who was playing. I’d just come back from Afghanistan, and I wasn’t in the mood to be bullied by some old crock, so I rugby tackled him at one point. Even after the game in the bar, we were still staring daggers at each other over our pints. Mind you, he was a pretty tough bloke – so it’s just as well I had my girlfriend dragging me out of the bar again!

Ganglands: Brazil, Ross Kemp’s first book
for teenagers, is out now (Penguin, £6.99)