ZOO has the exclusive transcript of upcoming episode of Sony Ericsson's Pocket TV. Read a preview of the bizarre interview here!

Matt    If you could watch any breed of animal copulate what would it be?
Sean   It would be giraffes. Cos their head is 20 feet up. If my head was 20 feet up and I couldn’t see what was going on, I’d be wondering what’s going on.
Matt    …who’s messing with my bits down there?
Sean   … Funny thing to think about giraffe sex. Then maybe I’ll get into giraffe porn. Probably sell giraffe porn throughout the earth cos not everywhere in the world has giraffes I think. That will really sell – maybe in Japan...Giraffes need love too.
 
Matt    You discover your house is haunted by a scary Japanese child, do you try and befriend it, do you exercise it or as a third option do you show it giraffe porn?
Sean   Ha Ha I would first introduce the child to soya bean milk, then after you break in the giraffe porn, like slowly but surely and then it’s all good.
 
Matt    Anyone you’d like to work with?
Sean   Yes. I think I’d like to work with a young lady called Alicia Keyes, always wanted to work with her.
Matt    What offer would you give her? – a bit of meat (nb they are at a barbq)
Sean   Well I went on many tours this year, places in Africa. They were telling me in that country in Masai Mara camp all I would do if I want to marry a young lady is present the most amount of cows and goats. So I think that’s what I’d do...I’ve adapted the Masai way. I think that’s the best way of looking for a wife.
Matt    Hang on we’ve gone from a collaboration to you marrying her.
Sean   Damn you all found out my secret – ok all you millions of people watching please don’t break my secret I’m gonna pop the question to her.

Watch this week's show on Thursday 2 July. Find out more at Pocket TV