Chris, tell us about your new show...
It's about me serving in the world's toughest police services. I meet up with the unit, get trained up over five days and then go on an active mission. No messing around or fake jobs: the real deal. The first one was in Brazil and within about five seconds of the cameraman and me stepping out of the armoured car in the middle of a slum, the rounds started coming in. They were just firing at us because we were police. It was crazy. I came about six inches from being hit before we'd done anything!

Crikey. Where else did you serve?
All over. I was taking out high profile drug targets in Colombia with the JUNGLAS unit, working on organised crime in Poland and helping out the Magav - the border police - in Israel. But I would still rank Mexico as the most difficult place in the world to police. In the few weeks we were there, 100 police were killed. The last day I was there, twelve bodies turned up, all with their heads chopped off. Just amazing.

How do you get insurance?
I can't - I'm uninsurable! You may as well wipe your arse with the risk assessment sheets I fill out!

Your SAS background must have helped you...
Yeah, that's pretty much why these police units would let me in. I was a bit worried about the physical side because I'm not a 25-year-old anymore, but there's no one out there who can out-shoot me. Whenever I get on the range, I'm
still the top dog. Wherever I was, as soon as I out-fired them, they knew I wasn't just a TV presenter. I was even offered jobs by some of the units! The Colombians wanted me to run their training program!

What do you make of all the TV "hard men" emerging in the last few years? There's Ross Kemp, Danny Dyer, Vinnie Jones...
I worked with Ross on Ultimate Force, so I'll keep my thoughts on that quiet! If it's the genre they want to work in, fine. But you've got to remember these guys are actors. When you get down to reality, it's a different story - as they find out!

You've seen plenty of battlefields. Iraq seems to be settling now, but how bad is it out in Afghanistan for our boys?
My brother is out in Afghanistan with the Paras and says it's the worst place he's ever served. He's been all over the world, but he says it's just horrendous. Basically, the conditions are terrible and the heat is unbearable. The guys they're fighting are natural born killers who aren't afraid of a scrap - plus, they believe if they die, they're going to a better place.

How do you combat that dedication to the cause?
You fire a round straight between their eyes! That's the only solution with these fuckers.

Should the Government be doing more for our boys?
Definitely. We're pumping billions into the economy, but a few extra million would go a long way for these guys fighting for the nation. They are doing a year-long tour with a week's break every six months. It's hardcore shit. And then you see members of the Royal Family, who clearly can't operate a weapon, going out there as a bit of a publicity campaign. Prince Harry had a team of SAS guys looking after him. They would've been better served doing something a bit more productive.

Finally, we have to ask: who'd survive if you, Andy McNab, Bear Grylls and Ray Mears were stranded somewhere?
Firstly, I'd send Ray Mears to catch the food. I have a few issues with this lad Bear Grylls. He claims he's served in the SAS, but I've never met anyone who he served under ­- I understand he was in the Territorial Army, but that's about it. Because of the air of secrecy in the SAS, these fellas can claim whatever they like without being challenged. So, after me and McNab had kicked the shit out of Grylls, I'd tell him to get the fire on and wait for Mears to return with the food!

PUB FACT: Chris Ryan doesn't understand why Andy McNab won't show his face: "I assume he's embarrassed by his double chin!

| Chris Ryan's Elite World Cops is on Tuesdays from 11 November, at 10pm on Bravo. Chris' latest novel, Firefight, is out now.