ZOO vs Jimmy Carr!

Jimmy CarrJimmy! You're about to release your fourth live DVD. What sets it apart from all the others?
In a sense, the show is exactly the same as last year - except for every single word! It's just me doing jokes, but we've gone cartoon crazy with the DVD extras. We took our favourite 30 moments of audience interaction from the tour and had them animated by 12 different artists. It's got everything from Wallace & Gromit-style claymation to line drawings and a great puppet sequence that looks a lot like the Muppets.

Have you got your own puppet, then?
Yeah, and a claymation model which was really quite freaky. I quite liked the Muppet, but let's face it - it was always going to look pretty weird!

There are loads of other comedians with DVDs out at the moment. Are you fearing the competition?
No, I think it's great there are so many comedy DVDs. Everyone's feeling the credit crunch at the moment, but comedy is the one area that isn't suffering because everyone needs a bit of cheering up. Personally, I think I'm like the marijuana of comedy, because a lot of people come and see me live and they think, "Oh I quite enjoyed that, I might take a chance on another, harder comic." I'm like a gateway drug.

So what have you got that other stand-ups haven't?
I think it's the rate of gags. I aim for three gags a minute - 300 jokes in two hours is the perfect show for me. I need that because I'm a comedy fan more than a comedian. Essentially, I'm a writer who got lucky. As a performer, I've got nothing. I've got a big funny face. And that's about it.

Who have been the worst guests on 8 Out Of 10 Cats?

People would say the Big Brother contestants, but in fairness to them, they can take a fucking joke! None of them were that moody, apart from Billi from Big Brother 8. We made loads of jokes about people not knowing who he was, which he didn't take too well. But I think the fact there are probably people out there reading this and thinking, "Who the fuck is Billi?" proves our point!

Billi BhattiFYI readers, that's Billi Bhatti. No, us neither. Has anyone ever taken one of your jokes the wrong way?
Nadia from BB once got really upset and threw some water over me. But to be honest, we'd made some gratuitous jokes about what must have been a very painful operation - if you dish it out like we do on 8 Out Of 10 Cats, you have to be able to take it as well.

And have you ever changed a punchline for fear of offending someone?
I remember doing a show a good few years ago with Simon Pegg and we wrote a joke about Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow giving their kids silly names. It was quite a funny gag and then Simon went, "You know, they're friends of mine." And I went, " didn't." It was a bit weird, so we just cut it from the show. Sometimes, it's easier to be nice.

Do you ever get celebrities you've taken the piss out of hunting you down?
It's happened a few times. I did a joke years ago about Sting and Trudi Styler having sex for eight hours or whatever it was. Then, I met Sting and he was just incredibly nice and cool about the whole thing. It properly made me feel bad because he was so nice. And his wife is actually gorgeous!

Got any near-the-knuckle gags that might come back to haunt you?
I've been writing a few about Guy Ritchie and Madonna's divorce. One is: "It's an unpleasant split. That Guy doesn't want to go near any more." Sometimes, I do feel it's a bit harsh. Especially with Madonna, as she could definitely have me in a fight. I mean, just look at those arms! I've just written another gag, actually: "Madonna's 50 but she's got the body of a man half her age." And another one, "They used to have great nights down the pub. Old Peculiar bitter. Three of the reasons he split up with her."

Finally, what's with all the guyliner?
Oh yeah, I suppose I do wear quite a lot of Guyliner. You've got to have it. They say you can't polish a turd - but you can at least put some glitter on it!

PUB FACT: Jimmy Carr revealed on Would I Lie To You? that he lost his virginity when he was 26 years old

| Jimmy Carr's new stand-up DVD, Jimmy Carr In Concert, is out now on 4DVD, priced £19.99
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