Peter Kay is putting the finishing touches to his first new comedy in four long years.

The talent-show spoof is a feature-length extravaganza with the ridiculously long title (deep breath) Britain's Got The Pop Factor And Possibly A New Celebrity Jesus Christ Soapstar Superstar Strictly On Ice.

The piss-takey special boasts familiar characters, celebrity cameos and a fair few musical numbers. And ZOO's got the lowdown on the Bolton legend's triumphant return...

SOB STORIES SLATED!
Peter Kay is clearly taking aim at the tear-jerking tales in real telly talent shows with some awesomely funny spoof characters. A lad called Our Wayne, who is voted off the show, is hastily brought back after his gran dies of a heart attack. Then there's the foursome with two members in a wheelchair. Their name? Two Up Two Down.

NEW ASSAULT ON THE CHARTS!
The programme will be the first part of a Channel 4 Peter Kay Night. The second half is Raiders Of The Pop Charts - a look back at Peter's hit charity singles featuring interviews with Michael Parkinson and, er, Mr Blobby. And it's rumoured the burly Boltonian will use the show to unveil a new Christmas single with Gary Barlow. Don't stay away from comedy for too long this time though eh, Peter?

CHEEKY CAMEOS!
Original Popstars and Pop Idol judges Nicki Chapman, Pete Waterman and Dr "Neil" Fox will appear as Britain's Got The Pop Factor's cynical judging panel. But ZOO can also exclusively reveal that Popstars: The Rivals oddities the Cheeky Girls have a brief cameo as themselves. Will this mean more Extras-style twisted bit parts for Z-Listers? Watch this space.

RETURNING CHARACTERS!
The feel of the show - with its many bizarre variety-style performances - is based on the closing sequence in Phoenix Nights. And ZOO can exclusively report that a character from the classic Channel 4 sitcom will return! Charlatan psychic Clinton Baptiste gets roped in to convince a nervy contestant to go on stage by saying it's what a dead relative would have wanted!

SINGING TRANNY!
Peter's written and directed the show, but he'll also play dodgy ginger transvestite Geraldine. The cross-dressing lass (real name Gerry) makes it to the final stages of the show's central singing contest, but she's got suitably odd competition. There's a dwarf boy band called Men Two Boyz, a ropey Freddie Mercury impersonator and a granny who farts along while singing Patrick Swayze's She's Like The Wind.

PUB FACT: There are more than 100 music tracks in Britain's Got The Pop Factor...

l Britain's Got The Pop Factor... is on Channel 4 next month