They're crazy aren't they, them Dutch fellows? Windmills, clogs and now biblical replicas, they're pretty famed for building useless stuff.

Familiarise yourself with this BBC News article from a couple of days ago and ask yourself some questions.

1) How does he know it's "half-sized", based on estimations from a made up book of stories? The article says the Ark measures 150 cubits in length (about 6750cm), supposedly half of what Noah deemed necessary, and three storeys in height. Ridiculous. They guessed the length back then and this bloke has been taken for a ride worse than the one Princess Diana took about a decade ago when she said "I fancy seeing Paris under the starlight"

2) How does he know how it looked like? It's a complete guess. Unless he's been entirely brought up on Bible books given out to toddlers, he's assumed what it looked like. It is most likely entirely wrong. He probably Google Image'd "Noah's Ark" and that was the extent of his blueprinting.

3) He made it as a "testament to his literal belief in the Bible" - no pun intended there I'm sure. Well, actually, there isn't much to say about that...

4) It includes model animals on-board, including life-size impressions of elephants, giraffes, lions and crocodiles, amongst others. Now, that is good - but if you're going to go the full hog on a 15-year-long-project, surely get some ones that move: or, live there. It was a literal belief at the end of the day, wasn't it?!

Absolute mentalist, but the whole thing is amusing never the less. Sort of like Leo Sayer on Celebrity Big Brother.

Still, the Dutch are known to get some things very right. Like model Sylvia Geertsen, who starred on Holland's version of Next Top Model. Check out the vids of her below. I wouldn't mind getting two of her aboard my ship though - maybe that's the Ark bloke's inspiration? Probably not though. Loser.