Think before you speak
 Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last

 one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
 immediately take the words back...
 or that you could crawl into a hole?
 Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

 FIRST TESTIMONY:
 I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
 asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
 I turned around and walked back out and never went back
 My husband didn't say a word...
 he knew better.

 SECOND TESTIMONY:
 I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I
 was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing
 for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking
 gentlemen who works at the store.
 He asked if he could help me.
 Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing
with
 mens balls"

 THIRD TESTIMONY:
 My sister and I were at the mall and
 passed by a store that sold a
 variety of candy and nuts.
 As we were looking at the display case,
 the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
 I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
 My sister started to laugh hysterically.
 The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,
 my sister has never let me forget.

 FOURTH TESTIMONY:
 While in line at the bank one afternoon,
 my toddler decided to release
 some pent-up energy and ran amok.
 I was finally able to grab hold of
 her after receiving looks of disgust
 and annoyance from other patrons.
 I told her that if she did not start behaving
 "right now" she would be punished.
 To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
 threatening, "If you don't let me go right now,
 I will tell Grandma that I saw you
 kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
 The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
 Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
 I mustered up the last of my dignity and
 walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
 The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams
of
 laughter.

 FIFTH TESTIMONY:
 Have you ever ! asked your child a question too many times? My
 three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I
 was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick
 lunch, in between errands It was very busy, with a full dining room.
 While enjoying my taco,
 I smelled something funny,
 so of course I checked
 my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
 The realized that Danny
 had not asked to go potty in a while.
 I asked him if he needed to go,
 and he said "No".
 I kept thinking
 "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any
clothes
 with me."
 Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
 "No," he replied.
 I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was
 getting worse.
 Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ?
This
 time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
 bent over, spread his cheeks
 and yelled
 "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
 While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
 he calmly pulle d up his pants and sat down.
 An old couple made me feel better,
 thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

 LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
 This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
 embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
 before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get
 any! We had a female news anchor that,
 the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
 turned to the weatherman and asked:
 "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
 Not only did HE have to leave the set,
 but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

 Now, didn't that feel good?
 remember we all say things we don't really mean, so think before you speak