We’d like to shake the hand – firmly – of whichever genius came up with the idea of shooting WAG, lingerie and catwalk model Abbey Clancy, half-naked and slightly wet, in order to sell a few more aluminium cans. Watch the video below to see why...

Yet Crouchy’s missus has not, it seems, squeezed into her sexiest swimwear (and a few other bits of kit) just for our visual entertainment. Well, she has actually. But more specifically, it’s to help out Pepsi Max, a company that wants each and every one of us British men to visit its new online club and try out our best chat-up lines on another stunner, Aussie babe Holly Valance. Again, some hand-shaking is due.

Mindful that we’ll probably fail miserably at pulling Holly, Abbey has helped out even further, providing a few pointers for the less slick talkers among us.

'Guys have tried some hilarious chat-up lines on me and my mates over the years,' she reveals, without incriminating Peter. 'The worst ones are the old cheesy lines we’ve heard a million times before. You need something original to get a girl’s number!'

Yes, yes. We’re well aware of that. What else?

'The best way to get our attention is to be funny and confident but not too cocky,' she advises. 'And don’t take yourself too seriously – girls like guys who know how to have a really good laugh and the odd practical joke.'

So, it’s actually quite simple to pull. Just make her laugh, then place a whoopee cushion on her chair before she sits down. But if that inexplicably fails, Abigail has one last fool-proof plan: 'Don't forget to shower us with compliments. Every girl likes to be told she’s beautiful!'

- Now you know how to do it, go try out some lines at the Pepsi Max Club online at www.pepsimaxclub.msn.com

PUB FACT: Peter Crouch has dumped Abbey Clancy just the once, during the 2006 World Cup. Clancy then briefly dated actor Jason Statham.