Girls
Introducing... Kelly Andrews!
Forget Andrei Arshavin for the biggest mid-season signing of the year, look no further than right here.
Allow us to introduce Kelly Andrews: the finest purchase of ZOO's very own girly transfer window.
That's right, the sexy, single Liverpudlian and her gloriously-real 32GGs are all ours! As you can tell from her choice of magazine, the 18-year-old isn't just a pretty face - she's got brains, too.
Luckily, she's just given up studying 'boring' law at university to join us here at team ZOO. So here is Ms Andrews, ready to let you - and you alone - into her world...
Kelly, you've finally got your chance to say hello to all the ZOO readers. How would you like to introduce yourself?
Hi, I'm Kelly and I've got massive boobs. Enjoy!
What made you switch university for nakedness?
I was studying law at Liverpool John Moores, but it was really boring. My ex-boyfriend was taking some sexy photos - as you do - and he suggested I send some of them to a model agency. It's all gone from there, and the last few months have been crazy! Now I'm happy just whipping my top off!
You're from Merseyside. How come there seems to be a never-ending supply of Scouse glamour girls?
It's great, isn't it? But I'm not a proper Scouser - I'm from the Wirral, so I get loads of people calling me a plastic Scouser! I love Louise Porter, Hannah Owens and Danielle Lloyd. Girls from up north are a lot more open about everything.
Are you a typical Scouser?
I'm not that loud! But if I see a lad in a bar who I like, I'll go over and ask for his number. I'm not shy like that. Or when it comes to getting naked!
You're our big signing - the hottest transfer news of the season. As part of the new- look ZOO FC, which position will you be playing?
Centre-forward, because I'll be straight in there and I'll go for it! I'd distract the defenders with my boobies and flash while everyone runs past and scores lots of goals!
Has that ever worked?
Yeah, kind of! I did it to a taxi driver once to get him to pick me up, which was funny. My friends and I always whip our tops off when we're out, so I wouldn't mind doing it on the pitch...
Here at ZOO FC, we like new squad members to go through an initiation ceremony. What could we make you do?
I’d run around the pitch, strip naked, then get some champagne and pour it all over myself!
Good answer. Any teammates you’re particularly looking forward to, er, playing with?
Sammie Pennington, Charlotte McKenna, Sammy Braddy, Alice Goodwin, Louise Porter, Hannah Owens and Madison Welch. Madison is definitely my favourite out of all the girls in ZOO. She’s really sexy – I love her sexy belly piercing! You can pick the rest of the team, as long as she’s up front with me!
PUB FACT: Kelly would like to do a photoshoot with ZOO colleagues Alice Goodwin and Sammy Braddy.
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