Girls
Alice Unleashed: 10 Sizzling Shots!
Some things in life you just don’t get to see. A British side winning the World Cup (assuming you’re not a pensioner); a decent episode of Sex And The City; Michael Jackson’s real nose; or 21-year-old Stoke-on-Trent stunner Alice Goodwin’s nipples.
Gorgeous Goodwin has kept her magic buttons under wraps since her 30FFs were first spotted sunbathing on a Bournemouth beach last year. But the gargantuan nature of her boobs means there’s still plenty to look at. And it seems she’s finally thinking about letting the boys out to play…
Alice, you show us a whole lot of flesh – but the nipples are still covered up. Will it be like a supermarket opening when they finally get unveiled? And who will cut the ribbon?
Ha ha, it would feel like that! And I’d want it to be you guys at the opening! I have loyalty to you – if I was to do it, the honour would go to ZOO! You’re my favourite mag.
All the anticipation seems to have got you a pretty obsessive fanbase…
I know! I’ve had to close my Facebook account twice! I had one girl stalking me. She pretended to be a guy and messaged me all this sexual stuff – like what he/she wanted to do to me. I blocked her, then she set up another account and kept doing it!
How dirty exactly?
Really gross stuff. Not normal – weird, disgusting things that you wouldn’t want to print! There’s another guy in Leicestershire who sends me chocolate all the time. I get lots of fan mail – I’ve even had boxer shorts mailed to me, which I’ve had to sign and send back!
We imagine most of your fans are just begging you to get your nipples out…
Oh yeah, all the time! I keep getting asked when and where it’s going to happen. I guess I’m a bit of a tease! My nipples seem to be very important to a lot of people. Guys are totally obsessed. I think men must have such a fascination because they don’t have them!
Er, men have got nipples…
Well, yeah, but not big ones on a boob! Plus, most men’s nipples look pretty similar, don’t they?
So how would you describe yours, then?
They’re medium sized. And very sensitive, because they’re real.
>> Read how Alice describes her nipples and launch the slideshow!
PUB FACT: Alice claims 'about 10 boys have seen my nipples'.
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I'll be watching this other space over here, where girls like Seren Gibson, Keeley Hazell, Madison Welch, Sammy Braddy, Sammie Pennington, and Katie-Marie Cork will be giving me something worth looking at.
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That's from the description of this photoshoot that was written for this very website. Come on, Zoo, why would you say that to us when you knew full well it wasn't true?
(Also, I just have to point out how odd it is that Alice mentions Angelina Jolie as a "normally covered-up celebrity," when she has done tons of nude scenes.)
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"Unleashed" means a removal of restraint, implying that Alice will show more in this shoot than she has in past ones. But as we can all plainly see, this is not the case. She is no more "unleashed" in this shoot than she has been in all her others. I can only conclude that when Zoo said she was unleashed, they must have meant it literally, as in "Alice Goodwin does not have a leash on her neck." Did anyone ever think she did?
I'm just glad I saw the pictures here, and that I didn't pay money to buy the actual issue with them. Honestly, if I had bought this issue, I would have written in demanding my money back because of false advertising.
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Wake me up for next week's issue when Madison Welch and Sammie Pennington get here.
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When Zoo hypes up a shoot like this by claiming it is "Unleashed" and "her sexiest shoot ever" but then it turns out just to be more of the same, it's not just a disappointment. Honestly, it's kind of a betrayal.
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