Charlotte McKenna's Nude Shoot!
ZOO likes a fine piece of rump. So much so that we've spent the last few months hunting for the world's best back bumper.
Our adjudicators have examined the evidence. And examined it again. And gone back and taken a really long hard look to be sure. And we can now reveal which curvy cutie is the proud owner of the planet's most perfect peach.
So gentleman, please cheer the rear, give kudos to the caboose and put your thumbs up for bum of the new princess of posteriors, Charlotte McKenna!
Watch Charlotte McKenna's Naught Nude Shoot on Video!
ZOO Chats With Charlotte...
Congratulations on being ordained as the world’s foremost arse icon, Charlotte!
Thank you! It’s such an honour and a huge highlight in my career! Let’s throw a party where everyone has to wear thongs and walk around with their backsides out…
Let’s. Who’s on the guestlist?
The other ZOO girls obviously, and all the FHM High Street Honey winners. Kylie should come. And I’m a big fan of J-Lo’s wonderful booty! Vida Guerra, Jessica Alba and the Victoria’s Secret models all have amazing bums too – really, really tight butts! It could be a huge event – I reckon we’d sell out Wembley.
If it’s at Wembley, we might as well hold a battle of the bottoms – a Bum-Lympics – while you’re all there. Which categories would you excel in?
What are my special bum skills?
Well, I bring loads to the table! I think my bum’s got a pretty good shape to it. It’s not too big and not too small. It’s quite peachy.
Not hairy like a peach?
Nah. I do wax it, though…
Ha, ha! Of course not! I was joking!
We knew that. Ahem. How do you keep your bot in shape?
There are certain exercises I do… but I can’t tell you about them. Put it this way: they’re certainly too rude to be done in the gym!
We can only imagine… and trust us, we will do. Does your backside get pinched much when you’re out?
Yes! I often have to slap away strangers’ hands. I need some arse police to guard my bum! I could get two dwarves because they’re at just the right height. Can you get me some vigilant dwarves? They’d need uniforms too, with little bum helmets.
We’re on it. Will you be insuring your money-maker?
I really should think about it. Let’s aim high and insure it for £10million! But the premiums would be huge. Some big endorsement deals with lingerie manufacturers could help with that… I’d love for someone like Agent Provocateur or Insinuate to bung me some free knickers. Or maybe design a new range? That’d be really cool.
Top blagging, but the pant pedlars need more to work on – what skimps are you after specifically?
Really little, lacy pants. And thongs to show off my bum. I’ve gone off French knickers, though. They’re quite wide and give too much cheek coverage! I love denim hotpants and the way they cut right across my butt cheeks and allow a little bit of flashing. I tend to keep those for holidays as they get disapproving looks on the high street!
You need to look after such a valuable asset. Is spanking off the menu?
That might have to go out of the window. I can’t afford for it to be spanked too often. Maybe just once in a while…
Shame. Finally, do you have a special cleanliness regime? Are you a bidet fan?
Are those the things you wash your bum in? I’ve only used one once, when I was on holiday. The gush of water took me by surprise – I let out a little “Oooh!” when the water shot up my bum! Never again!