Got a window spare on 14 February? Want to date* a ZOO cover girl and win prizes for doing so? Here’s the closest, paper-based, option! Consult the handy six point guide below…

1) Download your virtual Sam Cooke. Possibly not at work/school/a public library where awkward questions about “suitable use of resources” will arise.

2) Mount your Sam. Tsk. On cardboard for rigidity – her papery doppelgänger doesn’t have bones.

3) Book/lay table for romantic dinner. Enjoy World's Best Date Ever™. Take her out on Valentine’s Day. Candlelit dinner for two, trip to the cinema, jaunt to the local den of S&M iniquity, whatever – a major wallet upside comes with fake models eat even less than real ones.

4) Secure photo evidence of your date with ‘Sam’. Send to letters@zootoday.com or post it on your ZOO blog and pst a link in the comments below.

5) Do not send any details of your post-date seduction techniques to letters@zootoday.com. Just because your date has the texture and thickness of cheap bog roll does not mean she should be treated as such.

Coming Soon!
Cut out and keep Seren, Amii, and Danni. Build your own ZOO girls collection. No free binder with part one.

* No one said anything about her being real and not a cardboard cut out.