There's rarely any joy to be had in other people's failure. But we did raise a smile - and a pint glass - at Ladette To Lady's doomed attempt to impart some decorum and deportment into Louise Porter.

Ultimately, it means lovely is still rude enough to take her clothes off in ZOO and give you all a long, lusty look at her surgically-perfected 34E boobs!

- Launch Louise's sexy picture slideshow!

Watch the video of Ladette to Lady star Louise Porter's rudest shoot ever then read her cheeky thoughts below!

Are you a ladette in the sack as well?
Definitely. You've got to be dirty in the bedroom. Those girls who just lie there, pretending to be a virgin, going, "Ugh, ugh" are stupid. Just get down with it, be dirty and be loud. Give the men what they want and they'll do the same for you. To have fun in bed, you have to be a randy bastard!

No role-playing as a lady in the bedroom?
Definitely not, it's not sexy. But I do love other kinds of role-play. I love being dominated and told I'm naughty.

How are your new boobs working out for you?
I love them! They're gorgeous. I went from a B cup to an E cup and looking back, I don't know how I ever did without them before. My mates are dead jealous. All the blokes have been having a feel and they love them. The only problem is my nipples are so sensitive now. They get hard at anything. I really should put a plaster over each one to stop them poking through my clothes. But I don't, because I love showing them off!