Not content in looking to bring together the hottest women in Britain under one roof, the organisers of Miss GB (and beauty contests in general) often want the competing fitties to help improve the world in some way. Is it not enough that they help improve the quality of our lives by being so gorgeous?

You know the form: "I'd love to be Miss GB so I could help cure sick animals" or "I hope to use my title to help promote world peace".

Yadda, yadda, yadda with a side order of "whatevs".

I'm sure the boys in Iraq and elsewhere would appreciate it if we sent Miss GB contenders into war zones, but we're not completely convinced about how useful they'd be in a combat situation...

Anyway, bearing all this charitable causes stuff in mind, we asked the girls that came along to our heats in Manchester which needy element in society they'd think would come out on top in a full-on ruck between the elderly, the blind, starving children and poorly animals... There's only a certain amount of cash to go around, after all.

Tastless? Maybe. Funny? Very...

Oh - and Aren't They Bloody Gorgeous?